feel like screaming out loud. but well i cant.

i had a fight with jedi last night, which continues until dawn. marisa said that my blog is a pandora box, you might as well not opening it. it contains some kind of plague that can bring disasters in your life. well at least it brings disaster to one person. and i guess that the only person that i dont want him to have another disasterous thing hitting him again.

what is wrong with me? cant somebody tell me?? what is really wrong with me? too loving, too believing, i have too much faith on something that i cant have, or is it true that i am just a plain jerk running around making others feel guilty and unhappy?

darn it!!!!! i feel like drowning.